Satan: [appears]
    Satan: You can have anything you wan--
    Me: LANGUAGE.
    Satan: What?
    Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
    Satan: What the--?
    Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
    Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
    Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.

snazziest:

I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt

(via stuckinsideadream)

bitchesgetshitdone:

I get so overwhelmed whenever I get an iTunes gift card

Like what music do I deem worthy enough to legally purchase?

(via wigglytuffer)

mybeautifulidiot:

*settles into bed with blankets laptop headphones a drink and everything* ahh yes perfect. I have to pee. 

(via zackisontumblr)

flyawaymax:

zevri:

what’s cooler than being cool?

using your turn signal

turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right turn right

(via immersed-in-a-song)